The errant lab found my endometrial biopsy. They apologized and sent the results. My doctors office called me right away to come in. So in I go.

Guess what? Nothing is found. I don’t know whether to be relieved or distrustful. How do I know what quality that sample was when they found it? How do I know they are not outright lying to me? But I simply cannot go through that test again. It was horrific. I decide the only course of action is to go ahead with the FET.

My lining is looking nice and plump and we go ahead and schedule the transfer. One embryo melts but the other two are transferred. I am instructed to take blood thinners. Now this, the husband disagrees with pretty vehemently. He usually keeps his professional opinions out of our fertility treatments because that is not his area. But this time, he thinks our doctor really is grasping at straws. I do too, but what am I supposed to do? I take the drugs. They are horrible. I have haematomas all over my stomach. I cannot so much as giggle because it hurts too much.

Well, it turns out our doctor really was grasping at straws. I did not end up conceiving. So much for that, I think. I cannot summon any enthusiasm for another round of IVF. I tell the husband that I know I promised I’d do three, but I can’t even contemplate it right now.