A strong little Embryo perseveres, even though it’s OB-less

December 7, 2009

Hooray! The little blast has kept dividing and our second beta hCG was up to 160. Yes! Yes! Yes! I’m still a little nervous because my sister-in-law had a miscarriage between this phase and her first ultrasound at 6 weeks. I realize that can happen to anyone. Although I’m trying to put faith into the fact that this embryo comes from a 24-year-old woman so it’s not all gnarly, aged, grey, faded and worn. I can’t help those adjectives; I’ve become used to personifying my eggs. It offers some comic relief for me to imagine them as cartoonish characters. My current embryo definitely has long, lustrous locks, sparkling eyes, healthy, glowing skin, no stretch marks… you get my drift.

However, my OB search is actually adding stress to my life. The one OB with whom I have an appointment at 12 weeks refused to see me earlier. The IVF clinic instructed me to find one, as they have graduated me from their care. And, well, I don’t have a lot of confidence in my family doctor. I am sure I could get a 6-week ultrasound and my doctor could read the results and call me with them. That is not the issue. My issue is that I am supposed to stop taking Aspirin, Estrace and Crinone (progesterone) gel at 8 weeks. In the past, I’ve been told that I would take them for 12 weeks and generally that is the protocol at the clinics up here. But my clinic has this new protocol and they are quite confident with it. I mean, they are the same people that were confident in placing just one blast at transfer time instead of two, and it worked so I should be okay with those instructions. However, I still want my hormone levels checked (there are instances where women don’t produce enough of their own hormones after going off meds and lose their babies) and I want to be followed by someone whose job it is to know about these things, instead of going to an independent lab that never sends the results same-day, then waiting until my family doctor’s secretaries find time to give her the results, then waiting to see if she even knows what to do with them or how to interpret them. Too much stress.

So now I’m continuing the hunt for another OB because the attitude of the previous one just sucks. She told me to call the IVF clinic to ask why I should stop the drugs. Duh! I know why I need to stop the drugs. Does she?!? I need follow-up! I mean, how can she let a donor IVF patient hang out to dry? It’s unconscionable, in my opinion.

You know what? I’m probably going to be one of those protective, crazed “older moms”… you know the stereotype. The one where women are just so bloody happy to have a baby they lose all perspective. But part of me now knows what it means to be a mom. Just like you have to take your own medical care into your hands — be an educated patient (without being an annoying one) — you have to advocate for care for your fetus because if you don’t demand it, who will?

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