Hello world!

September 2, 2009

I did it. I didn’t think I would. Not ever.

But here I am, a soon-to-be donor egg mama. Believe me, I wasn’t always on board. I wasn’t dragged into it, though. It was those big blue eyes of my darling husband, his sad faraway look, that did me in. And part of me wants a baby, but I want my own damn baby!

It’s a heady world I’ve stepped into and those of you trapped in infertility land surely know what I mean. Donor egg programs are a different pasture entirely. I’m still in shock at my decision. Will I ever get over the anger of unexplained infertility? But, oh, the power! I can now engineer my own perfect baby except of course, can it be perfect when it’s not mine?

While I was chasing these thoughts that may never have answers round and round in my head, I just suddenly ‘snapped to’. Action is the answer, I thought. Action always makes me happier. So I clicked on the donor egg site to peruse anonymous donors. If I have to go this route, I want fresh, freerange, wholesome, organic eggs!